Eruptions Of All Kinds!

Well, what an eventful half week this has been. The weekend was dull as, but it is only Wednesday and already I have some material for an interesting read.

I don't know if any of you have been following the news or read the link I posted yesterday about the Tongariro volcano, but I will fill you in. Late Monday night a history making, ground shaking event occured here in the North Island. You see, New Zealand on a whole, and especially the North Island has ridiculous amounts of geothermal activity. Here in Auckland there is a whole circuit of dormant volcanoes and it is also home to the countries youngest volcanoe called Rangitoto Island. Some of you may recall that I hiked to the top when I first got here. Just a mere 600 years ago Rangitoto didn't exist at all until one day the ground started moving and out of the water with a violent bang sprung the flows of lava that would later become the island that the tourists like to hike on. We all have heard of devestating earthquakes happening down here, and the most recent one being in Christchurch. New Zealand is a hub of mother natures bitchy set backs. I gotta say, you don't really notice much though for the most part. I mean there are lots of times in certain areas where there is steam coming from a hole in the ground, or the number of geothermal parks in the hot spots but you never remember that that shit can be dangerous. Well my first reality check has occured.

I am sure that all of you have seen the pictures I post regularly of the mountains on the other side of Lake Taupo with the snow on the top? The are huge majestic looking mountains and being from Canada we have some of the best mountains around. However the key difference is our mountains were formed when to plates rammed into each other causing crazy amounts of up lift forming the beautiful and breath taking rocky mountains. These mountains were formed because they are volcanoes. Real deal, crater havin, rocky volcanoes. Late Monday night one of those beautiful mountains I always take pictures of erupted! It hasn't had any signs of erupting for 100+ years and scientists say the last time it erupted was 1867. There is also a very very popular 1 day hike called the Tongariro Crossing that many many people do, and I have planned on doing myself when the weather gets warmer. Wellllll it was the Tongariro that blew up! Eye witnesses said that there was bright flashes and what looked like lightning coming from the crater of the volcano. It threw hot rocks and a massive ash cloud a kilometre up into the air, and the ash cloud blanketed several surrounding communities. Shit. Just. Got. Real!! It is crazy to think that stuff actually happens in peoples backyards and not just in the movies. I was no where near the eruption, but I know lots of folks in Taupo and they were just a lake away from it. They were actually pretty lucky that they wind was blowing the right way because they would have gotten ashed otherwise. There was no lava flows, but they are wondering if this is just the beginning of a period of activeness from this volcano. I am glad though, that I was here when it happened there is a neat side to being privy to history like that.

The second eruption I am writing about is not of the geothermal type it is of the drunken fucktard type. I don't know how or why on this fair planet we live on but if there is a crazy person within a 10k radius of me it's like they can smell the Moreeeny on me and are attracted to it like flies to stink. I, for whatever reason, seem to have this inner magnet that attracts all of the insane asylum candidates right to me. It is either that or it is the Great Spirt's way of making sure you all have a good read every once in a while! I would like it to be noted, before I start, that I have been told by several people to stay the hell away from South Auckland because of how dangerous it is. I have been given warnings of where to avoid when the sun goes down etc etc. Well this story takes place in the quite little streets of Mt. Eden village, which is chalk-a-block full of rich white folk. The streets are lined with boutiques and fancy little cafes for the nice white housewives to meet with their girl friends for lunches and brunches, and for the men to stop for a frappachino on their way home from there CEO jobs. They charge twice as much for everything and even their sally-ann is designer. I would also like it to be noted, that I have heard a lot of prejudice comments and accusations made by Kiwi's while being here, and this incident was with a white male in his late fifties. So take that stereotypes, crazy knows no colour or socioeconomic lines in the sand!

I was on my way to go see Magic Mike with a friend last night. Which side note to the producer, no one came to see the story. I don't know what all the talky bits at the end were for, shut up and take yer clothes off! I walked up to the Mt. Eden village to catch the bus to the theatre and our movie started at 6:40pm. It was around 6:00pm on a rainy Tuesday evening and the bus sign said 10 minutes until my bus was there. I took a seat on the bench to wait and took out my phone to send a quick e-mail. It was a dreary night and there was hardly any people around. Normally the streets of Mt. Eden are bustling with soccer moms and closet gays but tonight, no one was around. There was a very very drunk guy walking from the crosswalk up the sidewalk towards me, and there was a young career type fella walking down the sidewalk towards the crosswalk. The drunk fellow, although drunk on a Tuesday early afternoon, didn't appear to be homeless at all. He had obviously had a shower in the past few days, had clean clothes on, a small over the shoulder bag with an umbrella sticking out and a can of beer in his hand. He did look a little scruffy, but obviously he had some sort of something going on, he was drunk at 6:00 on a Tuesday night! As the drunk guy passed the other guy he reached out and shoved him by the should closest to him. The sober fellow looked rather bewildered, turn around to see the drunkard pass him but kept walking to the intersection to cross the street.

The drunk guy was obviously giving him the stink eye, even though I couldn't see his eyes through his sunglasses he was wearing over his regular glasses even though it was dark already.......and raining. I could tell because he stayed half turned looking at that guy as he stumbled up the sidewalk. He stumbled up the sidewalk until his homing device obviously synced up with my magnet and stopped right in front of me sitting on the bench waiting for the bus. Now, I have had my fair share of run ins with the bat crap crazy and I have picked up a few tips along the way. The first is, be wary of the drunk ones because they are unpredictable. They have conversations in their head and whoever is talking to them on a cerebral level could convince them that you stole something from them, lied to them, etc. Or it could convince them that you are new buds, 'you totally get them' etc. This can depend greatly on how you react to them. If they are already drunk and agitated (as our friend in this story was) your goal is to not engage them, but don't do anything that is going to agitate them more. Key things that would have agitated this guy would have been walking away from him or ignoring him. So, he turns to me and says, “You know, I love that man. (said in 'cursive' speech and referring to the fellow he just shoved in passing that is now long gone.)” I, not wanting to offend or piss off this obviously angry fellow just said, “Yep” The majority of my answers over the course of our conversation were “Yea” or some variation of. Be agreeable, don't piss them off, don't engage and hopefully they go away. He said a few times that he was in love with that man and some unrecognizable drunken gibberish. Then he said, “Yep, but I gotta kill him!” As he said this he was reaching for his umbrella with his hand that wasn't holding his beer. There was a store behind me that was open and it was now when I decided I should probably try to make my way in there and get them to call the police. However, I can tell by the way this guy is acting he thinks we are having a fine conversation and if I turn and walk away right now he is going to get pissed because his agitation level is still a 8 on a scale of 1-5. So, I stay, but keep a mindful eye on where the door is and estimate how many steps it would take to get inside.

He is wrestling with his umbrella, trying to get it out of his bag with one hand and I see his angry level rising as he continues talking about how he is going to kill that guy. Then he gets it free and it is about 2 feet long with a 3 inch metal tip on it. He takes it and says, “I would just go like this!” And stabs the air towards me, but not at me. “These fuckin punks they think they can take me on, but I am the toughest guy in this town. I don't need no fuckin weapons (at this the threw the umbrella, metal end first, down behind the bench that I was sitting on) I'll take them on with my fists.” Then he sat down next to me on the bench. And asked me for a smoke and kept talking about taking on the punks with his fists. I told him I was sorry but I didn't smoke and he said, “No smokers hey. Where the hell am I anyways no mans land!” Then he passed me his full beer and said, “Here, hold my beer a minute would you.” I told him I would set it on the bench beside me. “No, hold it!!” I told him I couldn't hold it right now but I would set it on the bench and keep an eye on it for him. To which he replied, “I am serious, hold my fuckin beer!” And his agitation level went from an 8 on a scale of 1-5 to about an 11 and he had his crazy sights set right on me. I knew then I had to make a move either run for the shop or, at that very moment a huge orange metro angel showed up with open doors. So I hopped on the bus and hoped he didn't hop on after me! Thank jeebus he didn't, and the bus drove off leaving him on the sidewalk.

So after hearing that story I want to know, how many of you picked up on the fact that the sign said 10 mins till the bus? All of this crazy parade happened in a span of about 10mins! I can't make this shit up folks but thank goodness the Moreeeny luck had enough sense to let me keep safe so I could tell all of you about this crazy adventure. Hahaha!