Until we meet again......

Well folks, this could quite possibly be the last blog entry for a while. Things are going to be pretty messed up around here the next little bit, and I don't know what type of internet access I will have. There is a possibility that I might be able to update Monday after coming back to Sydney from Tasmania at my hotel room, but we will see.

I will be moving into Port MacQuarie with Gran, Gramp and the boys for about two weeks. I pray to your god, and mine that it will only be two weeks. I am very dissapointed because I had several things planned for the weekends in April in the city and around Sydney that I won't be able to do anymore. Now because of all this foolishness I don't think I will be able to do all the things I wanted before I leave. It is so frustrating, but I have no choice so I have to try to look at the positive side of things. It will be a good way to save money, and Gran and Gramp like to show people around. I might even get to see a giant banana. This is all happening because we now can not move into our house in Gosford. You see there is some fatty ompa lompa bitch living in the downstairs of the house. She won't get out. She was supposed to be out on the 19th of March, but is still not out. Plus here in Oz, on account of the criminal background of the people, squatters have rights. There is just about nothing we can do about this situation except delay taking possession of the house. So we don't have a house, and the alternative to staying at Grans, is staying in a motel for weeks. Five people including two kids in a motel room, why don't you just get me a length of rope and a rickety stool instead! This just means that May will be jam packed with stuff. I know that Gran has internet but I don't know how often I will be able to use it, and once we get into some sort of house I don't know what the internet situation will be, so bear with me :).

Now on a better note I am going to Tasmaina tomorrow! I am pretty frickin excited about this trip too! I leave tomorrow and I don't come back till Monday night, then I stay all alone :) in a hotel room till Tuesday noonish when I fly to Port MacQuarie. I am looking forward to the break from work and the chaos of moving and stuff. But I am also looking forward to seeing Tasmaina, and hanging out with my cousin. It is only because of my generous cousin Kim that this trip is possible. She gave me this wonderful opportunity to go with her to Tasmania. I am so grateful and can't wait to see everything! To all you people that told me to take lots of pictures, to you I say, "Have you met me before?" I had to split up all my pictures from here on my memory stick into seperate files because the new facebook uploader will only display 800 at a time. You should know me better then to tell me to take lots of pictures, lol. I am hoping that in the hotel room I will be able to upload pictures because it has WiFi in the room, but it depends on how tired I am.

Well as of tomorrow morning we have no internet, so I bid you adieu, until we meet again :)

For eff Sakes!

Oh look at that......Did you see that someone just threw a handful of shit right into that fan! Frig what a weekend! First of all, to all those on my facebook I added new pics of the bush walk I went on, on Saturday. Creep that shit would ya!

So....Saturday, yes where shall I begin. Well I signed up with the adventure social club dealy to do another bush walk. The same company that I did the other bush walk with. Upon my arrival at the meeting place I was pleased with the number of people attending this event, seeing as last time it was me and two others plus the guide. There were 27 of us in total, so it was going to be a great social walk, or so I thought.......dum dum dummmmmmmm! We started out and it was really good. It was hilly and we did a lot of steep downhills, but hey that is what I signed up for. It was slightly less scenic then I thought it would be, but we only walked for an hour before stopping for lunch, so I had hope for the future. We were buddied up with someone, and my buddy wasn't too shabby. Easy to talk to, not a total weirdo, so it was fixin to be a good day. The spot we stopped for lunch at was pretty nice. It had some sandstone cave like formations and a big huge rock sticking out over a gorge type area. I my personal self would have walked a bit further before stopping for lunch, but I am from the valley and have a get er' done type of attitude. Lunch was good. I found last time that they provided a pretty good lunch, and they didn't let me down this time. I ate, and chatted to a few people around me. A few real weirdos on that walk, but some really good people too. Then at the end of lunch Mark, the owner, said that he was going to take a few people out after lunch. An old lady and young softy couldn't hack it I guess so they wanted to get out early. The rest of us said we wanted to finish the walk we signed up for, and see the Blue Pool. So we set off and they parted ways, and away we went down into Glenbrook Gorge. It was a steep way down into the Gorge, but I really was looking forward to the rest of the walk and seeing the blue pool. After we got into the gorge Dean, our 'guide' and I use that term as loose as the town whore, said to bear with him he might not be able to find the trail right away, but not to worry he would find it soon. So on we treked through the deep bush of the Blue Mountains. At first it was okay that we had to claw and trudge our way through trees, vines sand and mud. It only went downhill from here! Turns out ol' Dean-o doesn't know his arse from his elbow, and can't be bothered to admit when he is wrong. We spend over two hours fighting and clawing through the bush. It was hard work, and I really felt for many of the older people on the walk. This was not what any of us had signed up for. There were vines with thorns all over the place, and they wouldn't break if you got caught in them, they would just scratch and rip the shit out of your legs and arms until you passed through them. One woman sprained her ankle but had no choice but to carry on through probably some of the roughest terrain I have been through. It was a disaster!! Now many of you know what angry Jessica is like, some have even seen angry Jessica, so I know you believe me when I say with every bush I pushed aside, every thorn that ripped a scratch into my leg, and every grain of sand in my shoe I could only see me ripping the owner of this shotty company a new one. I was livid! At one point I was walking behind a giant German woman who insisted on carry a stupid walking stick, that caused her more greif then anything. It kept getting caught on vines and making for a shitty walk for me. For a fleeting moment I thought about grabbing that stick from her and just beating her with it for being such a ninny. I then decided that it would be a better option to wait till we got to the Blue Pool (where we were meeting the owner) and use the stick on him. If I spat it may have just caused a bush fire, so I refrained, but I was that mad! I mean I paid money for this. I paid money for a god damned guide and a trail. If I felt like clawing through the Aussie bush like an idiot without a clue in the world I would have taken the train up and got lost by myself. In the end we didn't even make it to the Blue Pool, or any where near it. We had to leave because the sun was setting!! The sun was setting! We started the effing walk at 11:30am! The last picture there is of me standing in a river, with my shoes on. This was a common occurance and we had to cross over water several times. Needless to say my shoes are fucked! So we climbed up and out of the gorge and followed a set of rail tracks to..........a locked effing fence. We then had to climb the fence like drunk teenagers runnin from the po po. We never did meet up with the owner, seems as tho karma owed him one or something. Today I sent an e-mail to the company expressing my feelings, sans eff word, and was offered a refund or tickets for another event. As if I would put my life in the hands of the knobheads at 'Life's an Adventure' ever again. Pretty sure satan and I would be having a grand ol' time doing pairs ice skating before I ever do another event with Life's an Adventure. As for the owner Mark Norek, I know I gave you a verbal roasting in the e-mail, but I am mean because you're stupid. I was so tired and hardly ate much all day, sweated like a pig in heat, and was covered in scrapes, cuts and mud. What would be your next course of action?? Go drink a lot of beer of course! Who needs supper, that will just get in the way of all my beers :). I did go and have a few beers and ended up coming home around 2:30am. I was, however, up bright and early and headed over to Manly to chill on the beach (my new fav cure for a hangover), and watch the Grand Prix with Richard. Sunday was a pretty chill day, and overall pretty good.

WTF mate!?! I know I haven't done one of these in a while, but here is this weeks WTF Mate!? So we go into a pub to have a few drinks after this bushwalk disaster and what is that in the corner? A playground. Yep a playground in the pub. I can see the appeal to families in the middle of the afternoon having a bit to eat for lunch or something, however, the world is filled with douche bags. So this then leads to it getting late and there is an odd mix on that dance floor. I see that girl, whose skirt is more of a wide belt then an actual skirt, grinding on the new love of her life cuz he bought her a double, and then there's little Timmy on the stage next to the blarring music whoopin it up to some Lady Gaga. WTF Mate! Why the hell is there no rule that like when the skanks come out the kiddies go home? What is the convo at home? "Mommy's going out tonight, wanna come?" That shit is messed up! The imprinting that happens in a young childs mind is amazing, and this is what you what to imprint on them!?

Lastly, here is a warning to all you avid readers. I am going on a super awesome trip to Tasmania on Thrusday untill Monday. I am super excited about it, it is going to be great! However when I come back, I will be going to live with Gran, Gramp and the boys in Port MacQuarie. I may not be able to update weekly until things get sorted out, so bear with me. I will do my best. Anyways I am headed to bed, enjoy the week, I am going to Tasmania suckas!!

The Weekend Past

Warning: If you have not seen Alice in Wonderland yet, and are wanting to, this blog contains details about said movie. I will give another warning prior to the section regarding the movie so you can skip it or something.

I originally started this entry explaining my theory on relationships and life. Only a few people in this world have been fortunate enough to hear this theory, and I thought I would bestow this gem on the world. However once I started writing I realized that my view on such matters is very difficult to explain. I am much more of a verbal person, and couldn't quite figure out how to fully explain the thoughts behind my view on the world. The short version is this. In life friends and relationships are nice, however they are an unnecessary. It is like seasoned food. Sure the flavour is lovely and it makes you enjoy it, but necessary? No. You need to eat, yes, but you don't need the seasoning to eat. In my theory friends and people other then yourself are the seasoning. When I try to explain this to other people they often think I am jaded and bitter, so I will leave it at that and let you make your own decisions. The reason I bring this up is because being here has only solidified my theory, and my fleshy bits are slowly becoming less and less :). If I waited around for people and 'friends' I wouldn't have done half of what I have done. So to you people out there that can't function without someone holding your hand, throw out your pepper and free yourself damnit! Sure it is a harsh reality sometimes, but no one like bland food either. Except for babies, but they don't have friends either, so case in point. Anyway I digress. How was everyone's weekend?

Saturday for me was pretty slow. I didn't do much in order to conserve my fundage. You see I have a most wonderful opportunity to go on a trip to Tasmania, so I am trying to save money for that. I went to the market and bought a new watch because my old one fried. I ended up buying almost the exact same watch. Then I went to a movie. I have been dying to see Alice in Wonderland. I love love love Alice in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass the books, and I think that Alice in Wonderland is such a wonderful fantasy tale, I just love it! So I went to go and see the new movie by Tim Burton. WARNING: I AM ABOUT TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT THE MOVIE. Well you can plainly see on the movie poster that it says 'Alice in Wonderland' yes? Well after watching the movie I would think that the title should be 'Alice in Underland; The Sequal to Alice in Wonderland'. I know it was a Tim Burton film, but I was hoping that he would take a stab at working slightly out of his comfort zone, but nah. It was too Tim Burtonny for me. I love his movies normally, but Alice in Wonderland is not meant to be a dark tale. Anyways the jist of it is that I was very dissapointed in the movie, and that sucks because I was so much looking forward to it.

Sunday was going to be really nice, and my plans that I originally had fell through, so my first thought was to go to the beach. Then I remembered that they were having the St. Patricks parade on Sunday afternoon with festivities in Hyde Park after. Since I had such a great experience with the Mardi Gras parade, I figured I would check this one out. There wasn't nearly as many people there. I got off the train the same time the parade was starting and still got a spot up against the rails. I very surprised at the lack of energy at this parade. The crowd was blah, the parade participants were blah, the floats were blah. I was very surprised indeed. I think it was partially because St. Patricks day was on WEDNESDAY! I have no idea why they chose to have the parade several days after the holiday, but I don't think it did it justice. So I watched the small lackluster parade and then went to check out Hyde Park. It was pretty busy and bustling with people dressed in green drinking beer. There were people in groups have laughs and good times. I didn't stay too long because it is not fun to sit in the grass and drink beer by yourself.

After leaving Hyde Park I walked down to the Botanic Gardens to catch a few pictures of the flying foxes in the trees. You see, here in Sydney they have huge giant bats that live in the Botanic Gardens. They call them fly foxes for whatever reason. During the day they can be found hanging in the trees of the gardens, and then at dusk they take to the skies over the city. It is crazy! Just crazy! It looks slightly like a horror movie with thousands of bats flying through the skies. They are huge, like the size of small cats with a big wing span. Anyway so I went in and took some pictures of them before heading home.

Before I go, I would like to give a little shout out to my Grampy. He celebrated his 83rd birthday on the 19th. I am sending some birthday wishes his way, and although he is 83 he doesn't look or act a day over 60. Love you Grampy!

I have a bush walk planned for Saturday, so I am sure there will be some new things to talk about after next weekend. Thanks for tuning in, later gator!

Debauchery? Yes please!

Many of you comment on how well written this blog is (Thank you by the way). Most of the time I don't even think about what I am writing, I just start writing and it flows as it goes. Today however I can not guarantee that it will be well written. I am falling over tired, but don't want to leave this until tomorrow.

This was a great weekend. Saturday morning I headed off to meet Richard in the city and we were going to go from there to Bondi. They had a huge surfing competition at Bondi Friday through to Sunday, so we thought we would check that out before doing the Bondi to Coogee walk. So we went to the beach but the competition was less then exciting, and we didn't stay long at the beach. Instead we went up to the Bavarian Bier Cafe and had some noon time beers. Beer lunch is the best kind of lunch really. After drinking a big beer, we didn't feel much like walking a few kilometers, but did it anyways. The walk was nice, but both Richard and I agreed that it was not as nice as the Manly to Spit hike. First of all this wasn't really like a hike at all. It more or less was like walking down the sidewalk or boardwalk. There were tons of people and it was super public. The coastline views were so nice though. The water and rocks form a perfect blend of beauty to please the eye and tickle the soul. Since I come from a coastal province I love the sea. I love the smell of the salt water and the breeze it brings with it. There were many little beaches a long the way with people in the water, swimming, surfing and enjoying the day. It didn't take a very long time to get to Coogee and it was a nice walk. After eating lunch we decided to catch the bus to Circular Quay and head over to Manly. So after a bit of travel we spent the rest of the day in Manly. After visiting the Bavarian Bier Cafe in Manly we decided it would be a good idea to go to the bottle shop and get beer. We also decided to have a BBQ at the lagoon behind Richard's house. So we went to Coles and bought some meat. Oh meat, how I miss thee. We got some burgers and sausages, some bean salad, bread rolls for dinner. The BBQ was such a great idea! How could you ever go wrong with beer, meat, BBQ and two super awesome people!? We cooked our dinner and drank beer and had a grand time at the lagoon as night fell. After consuming our first pack of beer I thought it would be a good idea to go and get some more. So we rushed to the bottle shop before it closed and then went back to Richards to watch some New Zealand soap opera and drink beers :). Some where a long the line we decided to go out and hit up the town and drink more of course. So we headed out to the bar and drank shitty beer. We sat for a long time and people watched. We sat and made up stories about what we would predict these people were like. What their history was, why they were out that night, lots of stuff. It was a hoot! Of course we drank way to much and stumbled back to Richards at some ungodly hour. I vaguely remember that we were going to go swimming in the ocean, but then decided against that, lol. We didn't end up going to sleep until about 5ish in the morning, and spent some time talking with Chad, one of the roomates, about the new Hoover he bought, lol. So around 9 o'clock when I woke up on the lumpiest futon I have ever slept on, I was feeling pretty terrible. I was tired and felt like I got hit by a truck. Luckily I have discovered that the best cure for a hangover is in fact Australia. We had a lazy sunday Aussie style! We went to the beach and layed on the sand. Then we were going to go in the water but they had a blue bottle warning. The blue bottles are like jellyfish type things with great big long stingers on them. It hurts like hell if you get stung, but it won't kill you. Again, I was glad we rethunk our plan to go drunken swimming in an ocean filled with stinging animals. After the beach we sauntered around Manly stopping at bakeries, chocolate bars and smoothie shops. Then we ended up sitting on the grass under a tree next to the water. This is really the best way to spend a hung over day! I took the ferry and trains home, falling asleep on both :).

Now I am done writing this, and I am going to bed. I am so tired I can barely hold my eyes open. Who knows what next weekend will bring :)

Praise A-la that week is through!

It's Friday, it's Friday, at last it is Friday! This has been one doosey of a week that is for sure. I am unsure how many of you read my status on Wednesday but it went a little something like this: "it is raining, both boys are sick with cough and cold, the little one puked in his mothers favourite shoes, library story time was a train wreck and the fucking cat's dead! Happy effing hump day, is it the weekend yet????????" This indeed was my Wednesday. It has been a long week with two sick kids and I am very much looking forward to the weekend. And yes, I know you are all thinking it, the cat did die. Thank god I wasn't here by myself when it happened or that the kids weren't here either. She died Wednesday morning when Peter was still home and I took the kids to the library. When we came home there was a sticky note on the kitchen counter explaining that the cat had passed. Meanwhile the oldest one had his head jammed under the entertainment centre looking for the damn thing. So I had the joy of telling the young dear that the cat was gone. It wasn't too bad, these guys are pretty straight with their kids anyways, but it was just what I needed to top off the day. Yesterday wasn't too much better. The kids were still sick and tired and we couldn't really do much. Then I went to Castle Towers to get my eyebrows waxed and when I went to go home the damn bus never came. On a side note, I found much difference between where I have got my brows done at home and here. The place I have gone at home is very nice, and she plays music, and it smells nice, and she takes her time, it is kind of relaxing as she rips the hair from your face. Geeze at this place it was wham bam thank you ma'am, twelve dollars at the door! I guess it was good tho, because it didn't take too much of my time and it got the job done. Anyway I digress.

I posted a rather odd picture on my facebook and said to refer to here for the story. Well this is how that picture came to be. The oldest one has a game on his computer where you can make different faces and things on various cartoon fruit. He likes this game and likes to get a bit silly with it. He will put an eyebrow over an eye and call it a patch, or put 4 eyes on it, or many arms etc. He was clicking away and then he said "Look Jessica, the apple is eating the nose." I looked over at the computer and I nearly peed on the spot. I had to hold it in a bit, but told him it was so funny I wanted to take a picture. The best part is this game is animated, so as I am taking the picture the mouth is opening and closing, and the 'nose' is wagging back and forth as the eyes blink. It was effing hiiiiiilarious! My question to you is; what were the game creators thinking about when they made an animated nose shaped like that!? I know it is very elementary humor, but like I said on facebook, if you are not laughing at a picture of an apple eating a dick made innocently by a three year old then you are stupid.

I would also like it to be noted that these people have had a taste of Jessica super nanny and their lives will have forever been changed. I once told Ian Roberti before I came here that I would be the best nanny these people ever had, and that has since been proved true. I am friggin super nanny, and sometimes I fear that I will be locked in a closet in order to prevent my leaving, lol. Since I am and ECE extrodinare I have cool ideas, and things for the kiddies to do. I have the 3 year old reading and writing so far, and the little on talking and started on potty training, and I don't really like to brag but I am pretty awesome! So I have been following a semi emergent curriculum style since I got here, and following along with the children's interests. The oldest one had a love of honey and an interest in bees. So I decided we would make our own beehive out of paper mache. We made the bees out of air drying clay and then painted them. The hive is attached to a branch people, to a branch! Just like a real hive. If I could figure out how to make a honeycomb and jam it in there I would! It turned out rather cute, and the boys had a blast doing it. I am telling you people, soon you will see me on TV with my own nanny show minus the english accent. I think that is enough ego stroking for one night don't you think :).

Tomorrow is Saturday, oh my love of Saturday. I am leaving the house in the morning and heading into the city. Richard and I are going to check out the Coogee to Bondi walk and also there is a huge surf competition in Bondi tomorrow so we are going to check that out. They are forecasting a bit of rain, but I will always have my trusty poncho! Well that is it for me tonight, I will let you know how the weekend pans out.

Wurd to yo mother!

Hello Weekend.....How I love thee....

Really anything I write from now on will pale in comparison to the Opera House experience. My original plan was to take the train to Canberra this weekend. I was going to take it down Saturday and come back Sunday because this weekend is the start of their hot air balloon festival. I would love to see all the balloons early in the morning taking off. However I tried to book a place to stay and everything is booked up solid. I couldn't even get a patch of grass to pitch a tent, so I resorted to my adventure plan B. A hike from Manly Wharf to Spit Bridge. Orignally I was going to do this hike on Saturday, but ended up doing it on the Sunday.

Saturday was pretty low key for me. The weather was beautiful and nice, but I wanted to avoid spending any amount of money so I chose not to go far from home. I spent the morning catching up with friends on the interweb, and then in the afternoon I went to the supermarket and the indoor market. I bought a few things for my nephews and had a slow evening. The family went to their friends house for dinner and I stayed home, watched a movie and called it an early night. It is a good thing too because Sunday turned out to be one exhausting day!

Sunday morning I got up the same time I would get up for work and got ready for a hike. On all the maps the length of the trail was listed as 9-10km. Seems to me at home in the national parks and things they list the distance as return if there is no loop. Well sir this hike was 9-10km one way! Why they hell would they list the distance for one way on a one way trail!?! If I go to the end I have to come back! Damn dummies! Oh well we had a good time, but got very tired on the way back. I left the house early in the morning to start my journey to Manly. It takes me a little over 2 hours to get to Manly Wharf, whereas it takes Richard (the fellow I went with) about 10 minutes walking to get there. So I took the train, but they were doing work on the tracks so they had buses to supplement the service. What a pain in my ass that is! Anyways long story short, I made it to Circular Quay mid morning and had to take the ferry to Manly. Now Circular Quay is a very touristy area and has 6 wharfs with ferries to all over. It is also located in between the Opera House and Sydney Harbour Bridge. The first time I went there I noticed this 'homeless' women with quite a set up on the wharf. I have since started refering to it as 'The Manor on the Quay' because she basically has a cardboard estate. It baffles me how she can accumulate so many things and build her little dwelling and not get moved along by the police. At home they cops let them hang out on Spring Garden but they always shuffle them along so that no one is settled in such a high traffic area for too long. I just don't get it. In this picture she seems to be enjoying her morning crossword. The picture is not that great, but I didn't want to be too intrusive, especially because last time I was there she was shouting curse words at people passing by.

I took the ferry to Manly and met up with Richard at the terminal and we struck off on our hike. Before you get on the trail you have to walk by some houses along the way. Some of these houses are amazing. I posted a picture on my facebook of one that has a glass walled swimming pool in the front. Some were so nice, I wished I could win the lotto and live in one of these houses. After we got onto the trail we noticed an abundance of very large spiders that have massive webs above and around the trail. Richard loved this! Haha not really, he is actually afraid of spiders, or as he says 'only the ones that are big enough to kill you, lol. The first part of trail was up hill, and when we got to the top there was amazing views of the water. You could see all the boats sailing in the harbour and people enjoying water sports, because here you can actually do that in the harbour here without dying or growing a tail. Go figure that a city with over 5 million people in it has a perfectly clean harbour. Anyway we enjoyed the view for a while, and the breeze that was at the top of the hill. The next part was easy on the way there because it was mostly downhill, remembering that we had to come back that way. It was a really nice walk and nice trail. We walked under big rocks, and down big rock stairs. We sat on the rock with the waves lapping at our feet as we ate a picnic lunch. These moments are what I came to Australia for! Great weather, great views, great company and good food. Richard was surpised at my level of preparedness for the picnic, I had to inform him that I am Jessica the prepared. We trucked along, but both of our energy levels were fading. Apart from the spiders we saw birds and tons of lizards. The lizards were clever and well hidden. Sometimes we wouldn't even know they were there until they moved, even though we were standing right beside them. We didn't make it all the way to the Spit, but we made it damn close. We could see the bridge from the park we stopped at and that was good enough for both of us because we knew we had a long uphill trek back. I think our driving force was the icecream man. On our way there we got to the top of a big uphill section and in a small clearing up on a road leading to a park was an icecream truck. This guy had prime real estate, and he sure lured us in. We stopped and grabbed an icecream on the way back to give us a little boost. The way back seemed so much shorter then on they way there, which I think we were both glad for.

On the way back Richard was telling me about the Bavarian Bier Cafe at the wharf. He said that they had really good German beer. So when we got back to the wharf I thought it was most necessary to try out these German beers. Lucky for me they come in giant mugs filled to the top :) Turns out they do have wonderful beers, and when we go to Bondi this weekend coming up we are planning on getting the big ones, because the ones we had weren't even the big ones :) We sat and drank a few beers from large mugs and wound down from our big walk. After beers we walked back to Richards 'flat' (hehe) and made some dinner. It was a great day, and even tho I was soooooo tired, I was glad we did the walk. Next weekend we are planning on doing the Coogee to Bondi walk and spending the rest of the time swimming and drinking beer :). Today my body hurts, and my feet kill from the 20+ kms that I walked yesterday, but like I said, it was worth it.

I would like to share with you a funny little thing that happened to me recently that I know my Canadian friends would understand. Well I took the kids to the library and they picked out a few books. One of them was a Hairy Maclary book. Hairy Maclary is a series of books written by an New Zealand author about a little black dog from Donaldson's Dairy. They are really cute books, and are written in a rhyming style. So this book is about Hairy Maclary chasing cats. The author writes several rhymes about the cats that he chases, and example would be: "Greywacke Jones was hunting a bee, but along came Hairy Maclary and chased her up high in a sycamore tree." So you get the idea eh? Well I always thought that the page I am going to tell you about was so out of place. It didn't rhyme. It was the only one in the whole book that didn't rhyme. It read; "Butterball Brown was washing a paw, but along came Hairy Maclary and bustled him under a rickety door." Now I know that all of you are reading that at home and probably agree with me. 'That is stupid, paw doesn't rhyme with door!' Well I thought the very same thing until I heard their mother read them the book. Seems as though if you come from New Zealand then, yes, in fact paw does rhyme with door! Haha I guess their accents open up new doors for rhyming, it's no wonder there isn't more New Zealand rappers, lol. Apparently in England paw rhymes with door as well. Richard informs me that is 'propper english' to which I replied " How can it be propper english when you sound like a douche bag?" Really tho Australia was founded by Brittish criminals so it only makes sense that they couldn't talk right, they were obviously poorly educated ;). I don't care what the Kiwis Brits or Aussies say, paw does not rhyme with door!

Well there now you are all caught up. I posted a bunch of pictures on my facebook if you are interested, and I will keep you updated as per my next adventure. You also may be interested to know that I have a few trips coming up in the next two months, as well as moving house so this might get interesting after all.

The Full Monty with 4999 of my New Friends!

Today was the day that I bared it all with 5, 199 other people in front of the Sydney Opera House. Before I start on the journey that led to the actual event let me just say that I was so happy that I did this, and it truely was a once in a lifetime amazing/surreal experience!

The journey begins with a little trip to Kings Cross. I was blissfully unaware what this area of town was like, and didn't ask anyone about it before booking my backpacker for the night. I had decided it would be easier to get a room in the city then try to fight my way into the city in the wee hours of the morning. I had to be at the Opera House no later then 4am, so I figured if I could get up a bit later and walk it would be easier. I took the train into the city in the early afternoon to check into the backpacker and find the best route to the Opera House from where I was staying. As I emerged from the train station I noticed that the area was peppered with backpackers and budget accomodation. There were vans with people sitting in them listening to music, reading, cooking supper etc. It was pretty evident that this was backpackers turf. I walked down the street having a look at my slightly dodgy surroundings. I passed a man who was cursing obscenities at himself and smoking a hand rolled cigarette, so I think you can surmise the type of area I was in. I turned onto the side street where the backpacker I was staying at was located and I wasn't too surprised to find a hole in the wall offering me a nights stay. The good ol Jolly Swagman. The hostel itself wasn't too bad, but I was sketched out about the area and did not cherish the thought of walking around there at 3 in the morning. So after I made my bed up, stored my belongings and such I used a few minutes on my free internet card I got for booking. I sent a message to three people. I told them where I was and what my plan was, and told them if they didn't hear from me then to alert the NSW authorities. I wasn't kidding, that way I had a timeline for cops to go on if I went missing. Then I struck off for a trial run of the route I picked out and timing it to see what time I had to get up.

I didn't take too much time to stop and look at things on my timed run. If I did I just stopped the watch while I looked. I did stop a few times and looked at a few interesting things. I stopped at the Sydney Hospital to see the boar. They say that if you make a donation and rub the boars nose and make a wish it will come true. I had little to no money left on me, but I made a little donation, and a wish. Here's hoping that wishes do come true :). I hustled along the streets of Sydney as a woman on a mission to get a good time on this walk. I could have cut down time by taking side streets, but decided it was probably the best idea to stay on the main roads at such an early hour. So all together my walk took me about 35 minutes or so. Not so shabby, and that meant if I left at 3ish then I would be early like I had planned. I was going to walk through the Botanic Gardens on my back to the hostel because I wanted to see the giant bats in the trees. I entered the gardens beside the Opera House and started walking. Just as I entered the gates I heard thunder rumbling over head. I thought to myself "ah crap!" So I started walking and looking at a map of the park. I only got a bit into the park when it started to rain. At first it was light rain, then it got heavier, and then it got heavier. People were running for cover under the large trees and small garden awnings and things, but not I! Oh no, I am too damn smart for my own good I tell you. I have learned rather quickly that the weather here in Sydney can change on a dime and without warning. That is the very reason, my friends, why I have started carrying a handy dandy............................poncho, with me where ever I go. I have one in my backpack, I have one in my purse, I have one in the backpack I take with the kids. I am 'Jessica the prepared one' (Andrea, I put this story in here just for you because I know you are peeing yourself laughing right now. Funny enough the ponchos I carry with me are much more durable then the ones we used at many of our outings, or I am not drunk, either way they last longer.) So I whipped out my poncho, threw it on and carried on. Unfortunately it was raining so hard that I didn't much feel like going to see the flying foxes anymore so I headed back to the backpackers. I relaxed the rest of the evening and read. I did however find out why the monorail was shut down the day before tho. While I was reading the paper I came across this article explaining that two monorails crashed into each other. If you notice on the right side near the bottom it says "Those who purchased day passes were offered full refunds" As per my little story of my argument I think we all know that this is false ;). I tried to get to bed early, but hardly got any sleep. I lay awake in my bed listening to the hooting and hollering and glass smashing going on in the street the backpacker was on, all the while thinking that in a few short hours I was going to have to go out there in that and walk 30 minutes to the Opera House. I must be crazy! I formulated a plan and was able to sleep for about 2 1/2 hours before I had to get up. I got up and showered and got dressed. I had to remove all my jewelery and things before going because those were some of the conditions. After all that I was ready to head out. I stepped out of the backpackers and called my mother. I told her to call me right back, and when she did I told her that I would kindly like her to talk with me for about 35 minutes or so while I walked through Kings Cross to the Opera House. She obliged without question. I was also armed with my metal waterbottle filled with water, a small but heavy flashlight and my keys of course. All of which could easily been used as a decent weapon against anyone. I know they say that people might be more likely to attack someone on the phone because they are distracted, but in my case I was not distracted from anything in my surroundings, and I figured this way they would at least know the exact moment I went missing. So Mom and Dad chatted with me about just about everything until I reached my destination. Thank goodness for Moms and Dads! I got to the Opera house at about 3:35am, and there was already about 1000 people or so waiting at the gates. I hopped in line and waited for the gates to open, as the line exploded behind me!

I made chit chat with the people around me while we waited but then lost them on the inside of the gates. Since I was one of the first 2500 to enter I got a special ticket to do a shoot inside the Opera House (I didn't end up able to go to it because of timing, but I really really wish I could have). I was placed in a group of people known as the 'ticket holders' and told to wait a while for everything to get organized and most importantly for the sun to come up. I sat down beside a middleish aged couple and eventually started chatting with them while we waited. James and Kim from Bowral. They were great! I loved chatting with them and James, an retired cop, was funny as hell! They really just had a great outlook on life, and had great energy. So I mostly chatted to them, and then a young guy from England Richard) eventually joined in the convo as well. Us four kinds hung out during the waiting period and had some laughs. Then as the sun started to rise they started to give instructions about where we were going to be located, where to stand etc. Then they made the announcement to the none ticket holders "Get naked!" People started ripping off their clothes like it was a race to be the barest. It was amazing to see the people all around so free and uninhibited. We watched a procession of naked people make their way into position and then were told to get naked ourselves. So on came the moment of truth! I stripped down there in front of the new friends I had just met and 5000 other people I didn't know. It was awesome! After getting over the first offical shock of ' oh my god I am naked in front of thousands of people in public' it was okay. Well apart from the cold wind comming off the water. I think today was the coldest that it has ever been since I arrived here, go figure! As we were getting into position a gust of wind would sweep over the forecourt and the whole crowd would shiver and say "brrrr!" It was funny! The people there had great spirt, and we did a big naked wave, we waved at the news choppers up above, and the ferries on the water. Richard and I stuck together. Although we had only known each other for a few hours we got along great and had a fun time. The artist had us first front on staring ahead, then back to looking at the Opera House, then back on with our hand up in the air, then lying down on the stairs. Then he said " I know that a lot of you have come here with a partner and a friend. I would like to you embrace that person and kiss them. If you have not come with a partner or friend, find a stranger." He said you didn't have to kiss the stranger just stand cheek to cheek (the cheeks on your face, lol). We moved around alot and it was pretty cold standing up there for almost 2 hours, but I am so glad I had that experience. It truely was a once in a lifetime experience, and I can't even describe the feeling of being part of something like that. I was elated when I left, and have been talking about it all day. I had so much fun, and it was just awesome to be a part of! I could write and write and write about how I felt about this moment in my life, what it was like to be in a sea of naked bodies, but no word I could ever write could describe what it was like. One word that I think best describes it was surreal. It truely was surreal. I can not wait for the picture to come back, I want to play where's Waldo with myself and see if I can see me. After the shoot I ran back to the hostel, gathered my stuff and headed for home because I had to work the rest of the day. It has been one long friggen day, but I wouldn't trade it for the world, it was worth every minute of it. You can check out the link that I posted on my facebook profile of the Sydney Morning Herald article about it. You can't see me in any of the shots because of where the media area was located, but you can have sneak peak at what went on. Don't believe everything that is written tho. One quote says that they were having a hard time getting the straight people to embrace the gay people, but this was untrue. Everyone at the shoot was very excepting, but it makes for more paper sales if they write stuff like that.

Well it is getting late and I am sooo tired I can barely hold my eyes open. Facebook is still screwy, and I haven't been able to use the uploader, but I will get the newest pics of Mardi Gras up when I can. I didn't take my camera to the photo shoot, so no pictures from that. I am going to bed now :).